We try our best to resist change, keep the peace in our home or work place can be a challenge. Are your hours filled with frustration or walking on egg shells? If you are one of these people you will want to read on. When I was a child I wanted t be invisible, I seemed to make my father angry for one reason or another. As an adult I would be around people who excepted me for who I am. They would want to hear what I have to say and enjoy my company.
Well I found what I was looking for, the only thing was I was still walking on eggshells. Always wondering if I was good enough, if people took me serious or did the people I worked for think I was doing a good job. My insecurities came from the treatment I experienced as a child.
I decided to change, I knew that this just was not working for me. If I wanted more, I had to change the message that I learned as a child. Taught that I was not worth listening to or the time it would take to make me feel special. I knew as an adult that I would never treat my children in that way. I could change the way I raise my children.
Why was it so hard for me to change the messages that my father put in my head. It did not seem to matter how many things I accomplished, the promotions I got or how much anyone cared for me I still felt as though I was not good enough. We look for acceptance from the ones we love and when we don’t get these messages it leaves us feeling worthless.
I knew in my soul that I had to change this and I started to work hard on changing the messages I told myself. This might help you to change the way you feel about yourself or maybe the way you treat your children or the people around you.
Steps to change:
- Write down the way you see yourself and how you think people see you.
- After you have compared the two you will see that what you thought is not true.
- Have the people you respect and love give you a personality profile with the good and the bad.
Now you can change the message and the way you see yourself…
- Start by keeping the messages that are positive and show the value you have.
- Set goals for yourself. Like, smiling at everyone you meet and making eye contact when doing so.
- Improve your education. Take a class, join a group that you find comfort in or volunteer.
- Keep a journal of all the value you have to others including co-workers,friends and family.
- Add the positive things that people say to you.
- Read your value everyday in the morning when you get up and before you go to bed
I know that this worked for me and It can work for you. I wish there was some book to show us how to cope with the garbage that we absorb as children unfortunately most of us grow up think that life is the same for all of us. It is not until we realize that our normal is not normal at all. You are a valuable person no matter how you grew up, see yourself as someone who has value to everyone around you. Changing the messages you tell yourself, change your life.
As adults we send message through our actions that can affect our families especial our children. Everyone wants to know that they have value and that others see them as valuable. Validate you children’s needs and fill them with value and love and watch them grow into adults that know what they mean to themselves and the world.
I strip myself in my former nature which characterized my previous manner of life. I am constantly being renewed in the spirit of my mind, and I put on the new nature created in GOD’s image in true righteousness and holiness.