I woke up this morning thinking about surgery. Was sure I had made the right decision to have another epidural in my back. I have had two in the past and whatever I can do to put off surgery I will. It takes over a year to heal from back. I know this because it took me over a year to heal from my neck surgery in 2008.
Surgery is no walk in the park as some people would like you to think. Just have the surgery and get it over with is what I hear from my friends. They are not the ones having the surgery and they did not see the daily struggles that I went through after the neck surgery. Plus I don’t have my friend to come and help me this time.
I am 52 years old and I am going to put this off as long as I can. What happens to the quality of my life if the surgery is not a success? My neck has healed and yet I still have pain. Yes it is less than before the surgery and I am happy that I am 80% out of pain.
Just let me whine here for one minute I don’t mind getting old I just don’t want to be decrepit. As I get older I know that aches and pains are going to be a part of my everyday life but I don’t have to like it and I am not happy about the thoughts of not being able to do the things I do today in a few years.
Okay I’m done we can put the violins away. There are so many people that are worse off and I pray that they have the strength to go on another day. So why do they seem to handle what has happen to them with grace? You don’t hear them whine and they have accepted their fate as if they were putting on their socks.
I have so much respect for them. I look at them in all, what do they have that I don’t? Will I ever come to terms that my body is betraying me as I get older? No!
I am not going down without a fight and I will fight to stay healthy and deal with pain any way that I can. I use acupuncture, supplement, exercise and I will fight off surgery as long as I can. I have no intentions of give up the time it takes me to heal until there is no other option.
People judge you on what they see they don’t see pain so to them it is not that big of a deal. Get over it, take a pill or have surgery I wonder what they would say if it was them that had to make these decisions at such an early age? Would they be so quick to take their own advice? Its doubt full and the risks are high. You may never walk again and it takes a very long time to heal and you may still be in pain when it all said and done. You may have to take medications that take over your brain function leaving you a slave to addiction.
So consider all the facts do what you can and remember that surgery is the last result in the quest to keeping the quality of life you have. I look at it like this the grass in my neighbor’s yard may be greener with no weeds but I would still have to mow it. So I will keep working on mine until I feel that I have a lawn I can live with.
I rejoice and exult in hope; I’m steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; constant in prayer. ROMANS 12:12