Comfortable Comes With In

We are comfortable in many situations and it shows when we walk into a room. What happens when we go home? Do we have families waiting for us or do we live alone? I suggest that we look at all the ways our lives are impacted by how we live.

We can hide whether we live alone or with others. I believe we adapt ourselves in every situation by the real person inside. The personalities of the people we surround ourselves with can help or hinder our comfort level on a daily bases.

I love to watch people and through my observations I have seen people including myself  become comfortable in situation just because of who they are around. Some of our comfort comes from feeling safe. Yet I have watched countless videos of people doing very unsafe things like jump off cliffs and they are very comfortable.

Some of are content and comfortable being in large crowds or by themselves. They have no problem living alone. I on the other hand want to and enjoy living with my family. Yet I cherish the time I have alone. I believe I am comfortable with myself because I have face all my demons and deal with my anxiety before they grow into a crippling way of thinking.

The tools I use are through mediation, affirmation and knowledge of knowing that I am a loving person and I will always be taken care of by myself or others. I have become more comfortable in every situation because I practice.

I avoid the drama, chaos and uncomfortable feelings that came with growing up in a dysfunctional atmosphere. My mental wellbeing is the most important thing in my life. I had to learn to put myself first and love myself l before I could be comfortable with anyone.

 

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given us, let us use them.                                                ROMANS 12-6

Change Your Mood With A Change Of Season

Here we are again getting ready for a change of season and I hope my mood changes to. We really haven’t been cooped up all winter the weather is 28 degrees one day and the next few days will be in the 70’s.

I wish my mood would get better. I have a tendency to be depressed over the winter. I know that my depression doesn’t hinge on the seasons. I know that it is an imbalance in the chemicals in my brain. Yet why is it harder to get moving and motivated during certain seasons.

Winter is the worst because the days are shorter and the sun is not out very long. It is called Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD, I just know it messes with my brain. I guess the fall would be the next season that starts a depressing out look. I wonder if that’s because the pressure to please starts as soon as that first holiday rolls around.

The holidays are when we seem to reach out to family and friends to reaffirm our importance in our circle or tribe. It is also the season to remember the ones we have lost and how much we miss them. I do miss everyone I have lost so much more around special occasions. Each season has filled my life with memories of good and bad times.

So here is what I do to keep from falling into the seasonal pit falls. Get outside as much as possible especially if the sun is out. The warmth from the sun and the light is a blessing. Soak it up, it hard to be in a bad mood when your outside. Take a walk, bring your phone along so that you can touch base with a friend or love one.

Planning the Holidays around knowing your triggers helps. I will make sure I host the holiday dinner some seasons because it keeps my mind on the great time I had with the ones I love. The hardest thing is not to fall into a negative thinking pattern.  The would of, should of memories can consume you, me and anyone that has depression seasonally.

Plan out your season so you don’t become that person that want to wallow in their depression than do something about it. Those of us that recognize the triggers that bring on our depression will tell you it is better to be feeling well than depressed.

 

My God, my Rock, in Him will I take refuge; my Shield and the Horn of my Stronghold and my Refuse, my Savior-    You save me from violence.                                                

                                                                                                                                                      2  Samuel  22 : 3

Abuse Never Leaves

I know firsthand how the damage of abuse never real leave the person. It doesn’t just go away because they grow up. You do the best to leave it behind you and yet you never know when the anxiety will creep in to your thoughts.

You go through hours of therapy so that you have the tools cope with the damage caused by living through such horrific experiences.  We all want to feel safe, accepted and loved. Children don’t realize that they are being neglected and that neglect is abuse. The sad thing is a lot of adults don’t either. Some children go years of being neglected and then live through years of physical sexual and mental abuse leaving them with the feeling of no worth.

I know therapy helps us cope with many aspects of life it is the path to recovery or what is left of it. Some things are just not talked about.  Therapy gives you the means to figure out how to live as an adult that suffered from abuse as a child. It will show you how to take control of the anxiety so that take over your life. The results of a abuse is anxiety we all manifest it differently.

Unless you experience abuse you can’t even imagine what it’s like and why it’s so hard to cope. A sound, a smell, a taste, a photo or a touch can take your mind to a memory of abuse or at lease the emotional melt down you were having at the time of the abuse. There is no way to understand what is happening to you, unless you have some understanding of how all your senses effect your memory.

All of our senses form memories our brain takes in more information in one second thank a computer can process in the same amount of time. That is why when we are being harmed in some way our mind goes into overdrive trying to figure out how to get out of the situation. I is processing everything so fast that we may not even remember what happen. You are just left with an overwhelming amount of fear.

Most people love the smell of barbecue, yet for the child who was being sexually molested during a barbecue maybe taken back to the fear and anxiety of the abuse just by smelling it. A song comes on the radio and all your friends are saying you just want to cry because you were locked in a dark basement or put in a closet after being beaten while the song was playing. You look at family photos and everyone seems to be so happy yet you know the lies behind the smiles. Your husband starts to wrap his arms around your waste and you cringe because you can’t separate a loving act from the feeling of abuse left in your mind.

As an abused child and teenager I can see abuse and want to step in and stop it. The reality is you are just sad because you know that no matter what you do the damage is already done. So you become a voice for the child and do what you can to stop it. Just knowing that therapy helps you do what can to get them started right way.

I can tell you  as a child you blame yourself. You wonder what you have done or not done to be treated so badly. I have gone through therapy it  helps me through the overwhelming feelings that creep up from time to time. You can only help someone who wants to help themselves. Some people are so caught up with their feelings of being miss treated they don’t want anyone’s help.

Teaching a person to cope is how therapy works. You may not realize how much it helps until one day you are singing along with your friends instead of dropping into the past. There are days you might slip into those emotions that bring on great anxiety from the past abuse. That’s okay for short visit now you know it’s over and he or she can hurt you anymore.

Making the decision to leave the past in the past doesn’t mean you forget the neglect or abuse, it means you’re willing to feel the emotions and let them go. I guess the worst part of the abuse is that it leaves you with a feeling of not being good enough to be loved and not knowing how to except love that is offered you.

Not every person you meet is out to abuse you. Therapy helps us figure it out and gives us the tools to manage those emotions from the past.

 

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in. relies on, and confidently leans on Him. and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I praise Him. The Lord is their Strength, and He is the stronghold of salvation to his anointed.

PSALM 28:7-8