Everyone has to cope with death. We die that’s a fact and whether we want to believe it or not one day we will die. We find it hard to cope with death as people have for years. What do you say when you know that you or someone you love is going to die?
Do you except what is going to happen? I am in that place now, my friend of many years is dyeing. I am experiencing grief for the time we will never have and the relationship that will soon come to an end. As I go through my day I remember her as she was before she got sick and how much she has brought to my life.
What do I say when I visit her? I tell her how much I love her and that this is just part of life as we know it. I love to talk about back in the day when we… I can fill my visit with taking her mind off what is going to happen next. I am grateful that she is at home with her family and knowing that she is not alone as she passes.Each visit she is weaker and weaker and my words are less and less. Just letting her know that we are there and we love her is sometimes all we get to say and it is enough.
I think as we get towards the end of this life we find peace in knowing it is okay. When it comes time for me I will have comfort by knowing that all the ones I have loved will be waiting for me. I will try to ease the pain of the ones I will leave behind letting them know how much I love them and I will be waiting for them along with everyone who loves them. That I have comfort knowing God and that because of Jesus I have already been accepted in heaven.
What do you get out of death?When you spend time with someone who is dieing you are getting a gift that can only be received by spending time and caring for the ones you love. This gift helps you to go on with life and when your time comes you have peace knowing the end is only the beginning. That no time spent loving and caring for them is not done in vain, we love them and want show them how we feel. The gift you give to love ones at the end was not a gift that you gave, but one that you have received. For the blessings are many,each day for those of us that have experienced the joy helping them keeping their faith until they pass. Our faith becomes stronger and God opens doors to show us how we will get on without them. He is the way, the truth and the light.
Stages of our grief:
- Denial- You or the one you love is dieing is so unbelievable it takes time for your brain to wrap around that the person is dieing.
- Anger-There is no way out of feeling angry with,God, yourself,and the person dieing. The person is being taken away from everyone they love and everyone who loves them.
- Bargaining-We want to make any bargain to stop the out come.
- Depression-Left with no power to change the out come we can feel helpless and sadness that is unbearable.
- Acceptance-Now is when we know there is nothing that can change what has or is about to happen. It is time to move on. Our faith is living for the love of life and knowing that we will see them again.
Peace I leave with you; My peace I now give and bequeath to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. JOHN 14:12