No One Person Can Do It All

One person can’t do it all. The balance of our home life and our work life are fragile. It is a daily challenge to maintain this delicate balance. When you add children and pets to the mix it becomes even more of a challenge. The first priority has to be to yourself, we often put ourselves last on our list. I am guilty of this and it became more evident the older my children and I became.

My husband and I had our children in our late thirties and now that we are in our fifties I can see the neglecting my needs has taken its toll on health. That has changed and now I can see why it is so important. I can look back and see that the fatigue I felt came from not putting myself first. Trying to be in control and having everything perfect  just is not in the cards. It is so humbling to know that it doesn’t matter how hard you try, the truth is no one person can do it all. As hard as we try some part of our life suffers and it maybe our health.

The guilt that comes with being a parent can leaves you with the “what ifs” and second guessing will rob your piece of mind. Multitasking is the only way to keep this delicate balance. The key is to keep yourself healthy in your mind as well as your body.

Keys to keeping a healthy balance

  • Don’t try to do everything perfectly. It is okay to leave the lawn or laundry go one night or weekend it doesn’t make you a bad person.
  • Set time aside for yourself. Working out, take in a movie, read a book and leave the guilt behind.
  • Delegate whenever possible. This may be hard for some of us giving others tasks and trust that they are capable and have your best interest at heart.
  • Manage yourself in the time you have. The time you have at work cannot be filled with family time and vice verse. Making sure you spend your time with your family is filled with the same quality that you put into your work.

I work at home, I have to schedule my work time, family time and me time into my day. I leave the quilt behind me. So why do we feel that  more can be done in 24 hours?  Working at home you do have extra time but not as much as everyone thinks. You are constantly learning new information, up dating your sites, make calls and closing. The way a person manages time has to be on a professional level. Setting work goals the day or night before helps to keep you focused in the time set aside for work.

When you are in work mode the last thing you need is a family member call asking for a favor. Like it is nothing for you to drop everything and cater to them. Make sure that you are doing business at the same time everyday and everyone is aware of your schedule. I am available and don’t mind helping out if there is an emergency or if the school calls, but if it’s just to talk or a cup of coffee with a friend that last three hours count me out. I love to blow off work on weekends and holidays. Once in awhile I’ll call a friend or family member to spend sometime just hanging out.

For years I was that person that tried to be everything to everyone and I never took time for myself. Now I start my day off with a walk with my dogs, a few chores around the house or in my gardens. Then I get into work mode and I hate if my work goals for the day are not meet. I can work from home, get dinner, do laundry, clean and garden. Done all by 3 o’clock when my sons come home from school. We do homework, after school activities and family dinners. This time with my family is not replaceable. I don’t  give this up if I can help it.

The world goes on with or with out us in it and I want to be in it as long as I can. Keeping up with my health is my number one priority these days. Healthy eating, exercising, getting enough sleep and feeling that I’m doing my best is what I should have been doing all along instead of trying to do every thing for everyone. Not one of us is perfect if we were our name would be GOD. Take time to fill your needs so you can be there for your family and your work. Maintaining a healthy balance keeps me in control of me and how I interact with my family and work.Remember we manage ourselves in the time we have and that is the true meaning of time management.

Commit your way to the Lord; trust also in Him and He will bring it to pass.          PSALM  37:5

Migraine Handle With Care

Migraines are one of the most debilitating experiences I have ever gone through. I have had migraine since I was a preteen. My headaches are bad, sometimes they last for days. My parents frighten by my suffering so they did what they could and sought out answers from doctors.I was examined by top neurologist in the country at Walter Reed Hospital. I am sit trying to forget how scared I was,no matter what they did I still had these horrible headaches. Now that I am in my 50’s I still get really bad migraines and here are some of the ways I have learned to keep them at bay.

  • Wearing brown tinted Glasses to cut down on blue or fluorescent lighting
  • Limit alcohol.
  • Avoid foods with nitrates.
  • Ice pack to the back of the neck while laying in total darkness.
  • Caffeine
  • Acupuncture

There is no answer to why I get these head aches. I have had many test and seen many doctors with no results. I don’t want anyone poking around me anymore. When I feel a migraine coming on. I have to get it in control fast or I could suffer for days.

I drink a soda as fast as I can and take a pain reliever followed by another soda. I keep cold packs in the freezer that I can put on my neck and on the area of my head that hurts the most. I have found that lying down with cold packs,my eyes shut and a pillow on top of my head to keep the light and sound out. This can cut the headache time down to a couple of hours if I am lucky.

I take supplements, acupuncture, exercise, and keep  track of on my diet . Acupuncture is what I  recommend because my headaches are less frequent since I started this treatment. I am hopeful that this will continue to work for me. So if you see me out and about I will be wearing my sunglasses which are brown. I will not hang out where there are fluorescent light for very long and I will be drinking a caffeine cold beverage. I do have a cocktail once in a while and if I have one to many you may not see or hear from me for days, I’ll be home with a migraine. You won’t see me eating any hot dogs, I’ll end up under my pillow, time that I don’t want to waste with a headache. I know that these things work for me, I am allergic to most of the medications for migraine so acupuncture is helping when other treatments didn’t seem to work at all.

A few years ago I was so delirious with pain my husband took me to the emergency room. Let me tell you what a mistake that was… They pumped me with drugs and admitted me to the hospital on the floor above the hospital kitchen. The door to my room was across from the elevators and  used by everyone including the kitchen staff transporting carts filled with food trays.

I had a room-mate with many visitors that had no idea what I was in there for. The food personal would announce themselves so loudly when entering the room slam down the trays and was not concern why I was there and that sound was excruciating. The doors of the elevators seem to open and close every two minutes all day and all night. The nurses would turn the lights on every time they entered the room to bring medication or take your vitals

. They had tried to give me some relief with the strong pain killers and it only made my headache worse. The Nero Doctor in charge wanted me to go through testing that I have had many times before and all I could do is beg him to let me go home. He was not up for that because I could not hold down any food and very little water. Finally after I told him that I was worse off in the hospital then at home.

The smell, the noise and the loud activity of the floor, the room and the friendly staff were making things much worse. He agreed to let me leave. I was waiting for anyone to come in and take me home. I got home and it took me more time to recover from my treatment then the migraine.

When you go to the hospital for migraine or any headache the hospital should take care of the needs of the patient, in my case a room far from the elevator, and away from the kitchens in a private room with a sign on the door “QUITE MIGRAINE PATIENT” with orders to the staff not to use light unless necessary. I think I could have cut my hospital time in half. So I try very hard not to get near a hospital when I have a migraine. They will treat you to death if you let them. I am so glad that I have acupuncture and it is cutting down on the amount of migraines I get. This is a good thing!

For you are becoming progressively acquainted with and recognizing more strongly and clearly the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor in order that by His poverty you might become enriched.                                                                                                                                        2 CORINTHIANS 8:9

Looking for more

Were looking for more these days it just seemed that there are so many obstacles keeping us from achieving our goals. The goals that my husband and I had twenty years ago are now at the crest of realization as our son is almost a year away from college. Our two boys are at the center of every goal we have. When they were born things were very clear on how were were going to accomplish them over time. Things have changed.

Now that time has taken its toll not only on the economy, our friends,our family,our health and our plans for the future we have to change our lives and still keep in sight of the goals we have. I’m sitting here drinking my tea this morning and trying to figure out different ways we can still have it all. Although change is happening to us everyday we look on the positive side. By changing your budget to have more meals at home we spent more time with each other. To keep from feeling left out we are extending the way we look at our social life. Here are some of my suggestions not only to improve your bottom line on budget but being able to spend time with other families and friends.

  • Potluck supper I think they’re great and you don’t have to invite 10 families you can invited  just one.
  • Sunday dinner moms everyone brings a cover dish.
  • Friday pizza night.
  • Saturday morning breakfast

These suggestions work well for family that likes to be social, these can bring you together with little cost. You’ll be surprised how everyone that is involved has a good time. This is also away for us to network with our friends and families to find solutions to problems that someone in your circle of love is going through. By staying connected you are helping yourself, family and friends. Keeping a close circle is great for our minds.

Everyone want to feel like they are a part of something bigger then themselves. No one likes to feel left out, lonely or forgotten. We want to be accepted, we all wanted a place to fit in and  you want to go somewhere where everyone knows your name. Even when you are having problems. The people that care about you the most will be there when you need them. By staying connected with others you find that they are more willing to help you in a situation or be there for emotional support. They may also be a source of  information that could be life changing.I don’t know how many times just by staying connected with a group of people I’ve found jobs, found answers to questions about my children or the care of my home and a shoulder to cry on.

I can count on my social group to provide me with what I need, the great thing about my group of friends and family is they are willing to give you advice about everything, they will support you when needed and tell you when you’re not doing your part. I really think I have found that the only way to get more is to be held accountable by your social group.

So I suggest that you handpick the people in your group. My mother said” you can’t pick your family” true but as adults can choose which people we spend our time with. Even though they might be family it doesn’t mean they need to be a included in your every day life. We do not have to surround our self with anyone who we don’t get along with or approve of just because they are family or our next door neighbor. Sometimes where we live can effect how much time we get to see our family.

I say keep the drama and just give me the love. I come from a large family and unfortunately I do not get to see them as much as I would like. Holidays are important so I really try to make the time to spend it with the ones I love. Keeping them abreast of my life gives them the security of knowing that I am okay.

We have groups of friends that we consider priceless to our sanity. Other families with children and love ones that are the same age or may even have the same problem. By keeping them in our social network we can relate to people that maybe going through the same crap in life. It’s great not to feel that you are the only one. No matter what the situation is, it is always nice to share the good times not just the bad.

The more friends and family you include in your life the bigger source of support you have to tap into and this I have found is priceless.  Before you go looking outside for more look close to the people who have always been there for you. Thank you my friends and family for your support, time and love.

 

I am blessed because I seek refuge and put my trust in the Lord.                    PSALM 2:12