Surgery Is No Joke/When Should You Have It

Surgery, probably one of the worse experience anyone can go through. I know because I just had another surgery. Years of pushing my body, car accidents and a cervical spinal injury have stopped me more than once from doing the things I love.

All pain is caused by aggravated nerves. I experience chronic and excruciating back pain so, I know how much I can tolerate until I have to do something about it. That time is happening now. Most of the pain in my body is related my spin so I can sympathize with anyone that suffers.

The surgery is the easy part you just go to sleep. Than you wake up and the work begins, so far this recovery is very painful. I had a neck fusion surgery done after years of different treatments no success. Nothing seemed get rid of the chronic stabbing and burning pain. It traveled from my neck through my shoulder blade into my arm and down into my fingers. Surgery helped a little.

Now my lower back has been done. The surgery is to decompress discs in my lumbar region of my spine. I have degenerative disc disease and spinal stenosis. These conditions make my legs and feet feel heavy and I have burning pain going down the back of my legs into my feet. My lower back is in constant pain and even though I have tried many treatments including injections or spinal epidurals nothing has worked. Some treatment made the chronic pain tolerable until I had spinal meningitis in 2012.

Surgery is always the last result so you can imagine how making this decision consumes your thoughts. The risk are so high and nobody wants to go through the pain of the recovery process of any surgery. My surgery consisted of chipping and scrapping the over growth of bone that is compressing my nerves and disc.

So here I sit in pain that I hope will continue to get better. I can’t take opioids so I’m on a nonnarcotic pain medicines and acupuncture. I found the more I move the easer it gets. Exercise everyday through the pain has help in the past to strengthen the muscles that support my lower back, so I am doing that. It is helping my muscles heal from the surgery. My physical therapy was really tough right after  my surgery and now, not so much. I still have a lot of pain some from healing and the chronic pain I live with every day from my neck. I can’t wait to get back to acupuncture.

The best thing we can do for our body and especially our back is to keep our core strong. A normal healthy spine is a long flexible column of twenty-four connected bones known as vertebrae.There are seven bones in our neck called the cervical spine. The lumbar or lower back has five vertebrae, than you have thoracic and the sacrum. Every vertebrae is separated by a cushion or intervertebral disk or shock absorbing pads which keep the bones from rubbing together and provides flexibility. This allows us to turn and bend. The back of these vertebrae bodies has a bone attached which is arched to allow open space for the spinal canal which hold the spinal cord and nerve bundles.

The spinal cord is in a fluid that through the spin and the brain and is protected by many layers of protective membranes. Each level of back bone a pair of nerve exit, one on the right and one on the left off the spinal cord through small openings. Our backs are a building block of bone which protect the message highway to the brain which are surrounded by muscles and ligaments which are attached to the vertebrae that send out signals allowing us to move and feel sensations.

My problem is the center of my disks are drying out causing them to flatten and my spine is getting weaker. As the bone gets closer together the nerves are more and more irritated causing my pain. *Stenosis,  and *bone spurs is not only my problem and I understand because I’m in constant pain and increasing weakness in my lower extremities. Sometime I have numbness that causes me to lose my coordination yet I will do what it takes to keep living my best life, sharing, painting, drawing and spending time with the ones I love.

How far can I com back from surgery

Surgery is a hard decision to make, because you don’t know the out come.


Judging Is Not Loving

Judging a person or showing love is your choice. We all want to be accepted and loved, so why do we judge. It’s so hard not to judge especially the people we say we love. A true act of love is not to judge in a way to manipulate.

Standards are set in the name of love by some people in an attempt to control us. They set themselves as a superior person in the relationship. Judging is a controlling behavior and also a learned behavior. If you grew up in a controlled environment you are more likely going to repeat the behavior, because it is hard wired into their subconscious mind.

In fact holding yourself in a superior position is a controlling behavior. These are people who feel the need to control you and the world around them. Their way as the only way and refuse to seeing others point of view. They show little trust in what you know, need or want. They feel their way is the only way.

People who feel judged will avoid being around you if you are the one acting superior. They feel they will never please you no matter what they say or do. They don’t want to be judged. The people who live under constant judgement are not happy, they live with anxiety, depression and low self- esteem.

Loving acts never come with a judging comments. People of all ages that are treated with love, kindness and respect find it easy to live a life without judging and are open to your opinion.

Those willing to express your flaws in the name of love are the people who are trying to control you. Believing their way is the best way, they will also dangle opportunity, money and power to get what they want. When they fail they will withhold acceptance and love to try to control you. They will never admit they are wrong because they don’t feel they are.  Judging everyone accept themselves because they believe they are superior.

All judging is not done in a negative way but I do believe it is used as a means to control a person, a situation or a group of people and what they think. Their are parents who grew up controlled and now are controlling parents others use religion or the law to achieve control. Words are powerful and whether used in a negative or positive phrase it can be used in a judgmental way. To recognize judging phrases here are some examples.

Judging Phrases

Negative judgement

  1. My dog can do this better than you.
  2. I taught you better than this.
  3. I would be careful if I were you, you know who his friends are.
  4. Is that your angry tone?
  5. You don’t feel the same way I feel about me as I feel about you.

Positive judgement

  1. He is a success did you see what he drives.
  2. I know she’s good because she comes from a good family.
  3. You look great but this one is a better choice.
  4. All the students from that district are high achievers.
  5. We will be good if we go to that church.

Judging is not a loving act it is an manipulation to get others to think or act the way you want them to. People use judgement to control relationships or to change your thinking in someway. By closing your mind and only seeing what you want to see is all so closing your heart.

Accepting people at face value and letting them express their thoughts is a loving act. Remember the only things you can control is your own thoughts and your actions you cannot change anyone. Judging people especially in a loving relationship is not a loving act, so if someone doesn’t show you love and kindness it’s best to walk away.

Kindness is not judging

Judging is not a loving act.






Superior Attitude Serves No One

Superior a word so many of us recognize. It is the thought that you are better than everyone you meet.

Not everyone that has a higher level of education, job title or position feel superior to anyone else. They are willing to humble themselves to be a helping hand and feel that they are no more important than anyone else. These people we want to celebrate.

A superior person thinks only of their position and how can serve their needs, wants or desires. They have no desire to bring you or anyone else up to their level. Holding on to this way of thinking is what has destroyed so many lives and countries.

Their attitude is the best way or so they think. It doesn’t make them superior it makes them closed minded. They seldom entertain any others opinions or ideas. These people will challenge anyone who doesn’t think the way they do.

Listening with an open mind is looking at all side of a situation before you make a decision. Hear every ones point of view and considering doing things differently is a choice. Helping people who need a hand up instead of pushing them down with a superior attitude is a good place to start.

I believe that every person is important and has something to add to society. Every life benefit another in one way or another. I am no better than the farmer that grows my food because without them I may not eat. I am no better than the factory worker who supplies my clothing, my dishes and the cars I drive.

Superior thinking people have the belief that without them the rest of us would not survive. Everything they say or do is to their benefit and it is without compromise. Children are abused physically, sexually and mentally. People of all ages are starved and used as slaves because of superior thinkers. Companies go under, countries fall and people are put to death because someone holds themselves superior over another human bean.

Entertain these thoughts

  • We are just as important as our leaders, teachers, business owners or celebrities.
  • Without us how would they eat, sleep, dress and get anywhere. You are not superior because of wealth, education or job status.
  • Without us working together no one benefits.

I am no better or worse that you. My talents may be different than yours yet if we work together we can all thrive and live in a peaceful work. Look at each other with love, an open mind and your superior attitude will fade away.

Superior photo

Embrace the differences and you will see that we are not superior.